Gratuitous crotch shots, a partially unbuttoned shirt and an army of sharp dressed men behind him: why, this must be Russia! Now don’t be fooled by the lack of ice skaters or pianos, it still is Russia. He’s coming to get me, he sings, by god, quick someone lock the doors and windows! Qualifier though. For sure.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Switzerland: Anna Rossinelli - In love for a while
Switzerland ran out of inspiration in the lyric department and just switches to singing “na na na na na na na na na” halfway through the song. This is the kind of effort we can appreciate at Eurovision. Make your music accessible to the masses! Nicely done, Switzerland. If utterly boring.
Georgia: Eldrine- One more day
Bellybutton showing? Really? In 2011? But then what do I know, I’m not hip like all these young ones. Well done in making the best of the wind machine, Georgia. Oh dear god, they’ve brought a rapper along. Why? Nah. Meh.
Finland: Paradise Oskar- Da da dam
Finland brings us a song about a kid called Peter who wants to save the planet. Or something. It’s utterly inoffensive and quite nice in a guy-with-a-guitar-singing-da-da-da-da-my&myguitar-kinda way. Needless to say, it’s not my thing.
Malta: Glen Vella - One life
The last time someone took part with a song called “one life”, it was stuck between Deen and Ruslana and ended in Nipplegate. So this is quite daring. And yes, it’s quite crap, but come on... a song about tolerance and non-discrimination, how can I be horrible about that? So despite it being crap, I’ll turn up the volume, sing along and thank the gods that they didn’t send Chiara again. Thank you, Malta! Embrace the camp!
San Marino: Senit - Stand by
San Marino? Seriously? How can I mock Andorra when San Marino is taking part? What’s next, Brussels taking part on its own?! Though I shouldn’t joke about that, it might happen sooner than I think. Anyway. Thanks for joining the fun, San Marino, and I’m sure it’s utterly beautiful for a Disney Ballad. But yeah... come again next year. And bring gay boys. And feathers.
Croatia: Daria - Celebrate
“Celebrate”? Now I don’t want to repeat myself too much, but the last time someone took part singing “Celebrate” it ended with him punching himself in the mouth with his own microphone. Which was the best part of the out of breath-performance. You let me down Celine Dion Croatia. It ticks all the Eurobeat-boxes, but sadly, for some reason, the order to “celebrate” just makes me want to shout back “I’ll celebrate when I’m good and well ready! Quit pressuring me!” Though it could just be me.
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