Eurovision adventure

You might be wondering what happened to me: sudden loss of interest in Eurovision? Depression because Belgium didn't win? Hiding from the world because of our sixth place?

Nope.
On Thursday 27th of May I went for a checkup to our gynaecologist, was suddenly sent to hospital, put on a monitor and told I wouldn't be leaving until they delivered Penguin by C-section. I was 36 weeks pregnant and they wanted to keep Penguin in as long as possible, but they had to weigh the risks of an early birth to those of the pre-eclampsia I apparently had.

Bas was born on June 1st. He weighed a healthy 3kg280 (Imagine what he would've done without the pre-eclampsia and at full term), measured in at 49cms and is generally the most gorgeous baby ever. He spent four days in the neonatal unit where he recovered from the whole ordeal. Meanwhile I had to do the same, because -to be very honest- I really wasn't doing so well. I'm gradually doing better though, and he improved in leaps and bounds.
He was staying in my hospital room since Saturday (finally I could hold him whenever I wanted to) and we just got home.

So now you know.
Bas really really did his best to make us miss Eurovision. I can sense trouble ahead.

"It's a historic Tuesday" - Eurovision Semi Final 1

This year's contest will be commented on by André (from Brussels, because we have no money to rent a place in Oslo -well, that'll be funny when we win and the Dutch or the Walloon guys will have the first interview won't it-) and Bart. We think Anja wanted too much money to comment on the dresses.

The contest tries to get rid of the prejudice about the voting being political by now allowing people to vote before they've even heard one single song. Way to go EBU! Perhaps they're putting the money in a saving's account for when the Big Four pulls out. It's all for a good cause, really.

We play another round of "spot the straight guy in the audience", as every year to no avail, and before we know it (No riverdance? No-one walking through walls or flying through the air? No ulgy twins on a swan?) the show has started!

With the charming Eurodisco trainwreck that is Moldova. Their violinist is spinning around on stage so violently we're pretty sure he's going to be sick, and the saxophone players apparently play a lot better when they shake their crotch at the camera. Love it! -Q

Russia is as ever one of those countries that could send a puking violinist (with or without dying ballerina or iceskating rink) and still make the top five, and this time they send a bunch of guys in the snow, who didn't even bother to dress up. They're wearing scarves though, to stay in the "winter" theme, so they have put some thought into their act. Long live the Russian bombastic pathos! - Q

Estonia sends RiffRaff in a pink scarf (what is it with scarves? Did Alexander Rybak release his own line or something?) with the scariest and most hilarious backing singers/dancers in the contest. At the end one of them even drops dead. The Wife predicts their choreographer is pulling out his hair backstage "stop improvising, you idiots!".


Slovakia goes for the classic elf with mountain trolls-act, only this time she's joined on stage by her monther-in-law. Yikes! Long live the Riverdance and the everything-but-the-kitchensink performance. Petra was, as usual, twenty years ahead of her time.

Oh god, the Finnish aren't wearing any shoes. It's going to be one of those songs, is it. And yes, it is. With the lot of them all dressed in white, I'm starting to think we're being accosted by a bunch of folk-playing gynaecologists. Eep!

Wow, Latvia, that cruficix around your neck sure is subtle. If you'd worn it any bigger, you'd have been able to climb onto it yourself. Thankfully her singing is horrible, as is her earnest gazing in the camera. Mister God has no mercy (and neither does Fashion, dressing in a bathrobe and slutty shoes? For Eurovision?! Come on!)! For some reason we think she might pull off the robe for a dramatic clothes change (we've not had one in this contest yet! It must be the longest without one), but we're kinda relieved she keeps the thing on.

Bart says ickle Milan from Serbia is "as gay as an iron". Since when are irons gay? We don't have the time to think about it too much, since the party goes wild when Milan comes on stage and starts his "Balkan" chanting. And he even brought two dates (and their sisters)! And pyros! And a silly dance routine! Go Milan! - Q


Bosnia forgot to bring their act. Didn't they have something lying about with a red flag, a wind machine and much dramatic posing? Or with a washing line and knitting old ladies? They were all busy this year?! Tsk. Stupid softrock. -Q

According to André and Bart, the Polish act and song is about erotic asphyxiation. And perhaps they could have shared their act with the Bosnians because there's plenty to go around. Apples, boobs, bad English and even a clothes change. Well, if one of the girls getting their blouse ripped off is a clothes change... Could be me, but I don't get it.

Aaaaah, there we are, Belgium is sending Tom Dice with a blue guitar. We're told over and over again how pure his act is, just him and his guitar (and two backing singers, hidden in the shadows, but let's not split hairs), how this is quality and how -finally, now that 50% of the votes are jury votes- we should stand a chance to make it to the final. Yes, because the juries would have loved our fake Elvis and circus tents in years past. My god, we can be just as arrogant as the rest of Europe, apparently. Tom is hopping from leg to leg like he needs the loo and manages to look solemn by pulling weird faces. Still, we're pretty thrilled he made it to the final. Despite the song. And the nasal singing. Go Tom! -Q

The Maltese singer is on fire! Seriously, someone call the fire department! Ah but no, she's just giving birth to a gigantic bird that comes out of her ass. No, I'm not kidding, check out the youtube video. It's a bambi Disney ballad, but for some reason (probably the hormones) I'm loving it in the end. Must be the wings.

Thank you, Albania for shaking us awake with your generic discobeat. So generic it sounds like every single uptempo song we've ever heard. Shame you didn't think to bring any angel wings, but at least you brought the Rybak-violin. That's one thing at least. -Q

"Damn, Sakis has gotten old" we think when we see Giorgos from Greece (the name!). Thankfully he brought Sakis' brothers to do the sirtaki behind him. In true Greek tradition they've left the leather at home (or in the hotel room...) and are now dressed in pure white to better show off their physiques and their tattoos. Let's hope they don't win, because there's no way the EU will finance that. And who paid for those sparkly things on your suit, Giorgos? Eh? Ah, I can grumble all I like, but this is brilliant Eurovision stuff. I do wish they'd recycled Sakis' stapler though. Opa! -Q


Portugal brings us a boring Disney ballad sung by a pretty girl. I'm not impressed. Not even the straight guys are all that convinced, and that's saying a lot. They spent all their money on a dress for Filipa and seem to have dressed the backings in stuff from Oxfam. Charming. - Q

FYR Macedonia manages to send some pretty sleazy stuff. As a pregnant woman I can only gaze jealously when one of the dancers lifts her leg to behind her ears. Wow, with all the water in my legs at the moment I can hardly lift my legs enough to walk up stairs. Bitch! And just when you think it can't get any worse, the choreographer manages to up the sleaze factor by ten... good god. There are gay men watching! Close your legs!

We're glad to see the mullet is still in fashion in Belarus, as are the ballgowns and the Christmas atmosphere. We're expecting snow to start coming down, but we get butterfly wings instead. What a horrible, horrible song. And that Maltese bird so upstaged your stupid butterfly wings! -Q

Thank you, Iceland, for sending a big gay diva! And thank you for showing us you can keep the costs down by using the same fabric to make a dress for your lead and backing singers. We'd give you extra points if Ms Bjork ends the song by doing the splits, but alas... Still, we're fans! -Q

Bart recaps the Big Four by saying "the UK is sending something miserable" and we wait full of tension for the results. It takes four envelopes before André says something about "friendly nations", the camera keeps cutting to Tom Dice in the green room who does the most unenthusiastic "flag shaking" possible whenever he spots the red light, and when Belgium comes out of the envelope everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Woohoo! We might cheer a little more when Iceland comes out of the envelope, but still.

"It's a legendary Tuesday" Bart says. It sure is.
And do we hear the sound of André rushing to the airport to share a commentator box with whoever will have him for Saturday? Who knows?!

The Big Four and the Last Winner

"We're paying for this show, so we can send any damned thing we like!"... on with the immediate qualifiers...

Spain: Daniel Diges – Algo Pequenito

Just when you think “ooh this is classy, probably way too classy for me and my poor Eurovision Feather Boa fangirling” Daniel walks into a circus tent and is joined by a bunch of clowns and trapeze artists. I kid you not. I hope he keeps that lot at home and invents something classy for the show (he might ask for pointers with the Bosnian/Serbian delegations of years past for that one) and this might do pretty well.

Norway: Didrik Solli-Tangen – My heart is yours

Norway must think they’ve found the winning recipe: let’s send a hot guy (again, though we can debate the hotness of poor Alexander) and this time let’s not settle for one violin but send a whole bunch. This song consists of so much sugary sweetness even Chiara would say it’s over the top. Hell, I’m sure the butterfly bambis from Belarus are mocking this guy. If there’s any justice in the world this song will sink to the bottom. Fast.

United Kingdom: Josh – That sounds good to me

Josh is so well known he doesn’t need a surname. Oh no, not him. So one year they send The Lord and the year after.... this. Now see, I love the 80s, I do, but even I can’t stomach this for longer than a minute: the Colgate smile, the slutty dance routine from thirty years ago, the unremarkable vocal... still, it’s pretty funny as a trainwreck.

France: Jessy Matador – Allez, Ola, Ole

France is thinking “if we don’t win Eurovision (which is pretty likely) at least we’ll already have a song for the world cup football”, the world is still in a financial crisis, we have to save money where we can. The contrast with Patricia Kaas couldn’t be bigger and I quite like this one. Well, it makes me shake and wiggle on my chair, which is quite an accomplishment when you feel like a pregnant waterballoon. I hope he doesn’t think he’s a world class rapper though, or the whole thing might end up quite ridiculous.

Germany: Lena Meyer-Landrut: Satellite

Ooh, Germany is sending a Lily Allen album track, I’m not sure if it stands out enough to make an impact but I quite like it. Happy, strange accent (that’s not a German accent surely?) and a girl with clothes on! Extra points for putting on clothes, Lena!

Eurovision 2010: Semi Final 1

From ska-light to boring ballads, to nineties duets and golden showers... it can only be Semi final 2!

Lithuania: InCulto – East European Funk

Well, this can’t go wrong can it. It’s already quite an accomplishment that they can wear checkered trousers without looking like *total* idiots and with lyrics like “We build your homes and wash your dishes, Keep you your hands all soft and clean” I might just have to be a complete fan. Despite the lack of wind machine.

Armenia: Eva Rivas – Apricot Stone

Don’t ask me what this song is about, because I don’t get any further than “apricots”, “harvest” and “frozen ground”. But I’m sure it’s about world peace. And it will be enough since this song is catchy as hell and the singer is hot. Very hot. Shallow? Me? Never! But sometimes you have to take your pleasure where you can, even if the Hotness is singing about apricot stones.

Isreal: Harel Ska’at – Milim

And on we go with the eyecandy. Eurovision doesn’t discriminate, people. I’m probably missing something because this song bores me to tears. And that’s strange for an Israeli song (oh hush, who doesn’t have a thing for Hebrew?). I might just give this one a few more listens. And who knows what happens with the right Eurovision Dramatisation. I have every faith in the Israeli Eurovision gods.

Denmark: Chanée & N’Evergreen – in a moment like this

First of all allow me to roll my eyes at “N’evergreen”. Thank you. You might be mistaken for thinking this is just a skinny guy with shaggy hair and nice eyes, accompanied by a pretty girl with a bit of a nasal voice. But then comes the full force of this cheesy typically nineties rock-duet. The Other kind of Eurovision. The one without the feathers, but with holding hands, massive keychange and wind machine set to tornado. Yay Denmark! Thank you for not sending “I can’t Believe It’s not Ronan Keating” again!

Switzerland: Michael von der Heide – Il pleut de l’or

Wow, how Swiss can you be with a German sounding name and a French song! Take a note, Belgium, this might be the way to go. And this song is very much not what you’d expect. Michael is wearing a gold sequinned jacket, waving about a light saber and he and his song would be right at home at Oslo Pride. When *is* Oslo Pride? They should use this as their theme song for crying out loud! Throw in the shadowplay and the whole 80s vibe and I’m a huge fan! 12 points! Michael, sweetie, you don’t stand a chance in hell of making it out of this semi, but I love you for this entry!

Sweden: Anna Bergendahl – This is my life

Oh god, it’s a young girl in All Stars, a white dress, tiara and strumming a guitar. And on comes a Eurovision Pet Peeve: after the first verse, the guitar disappears but magically, it keeps playing! How does that work?! A pretty boring, but well sung, polished and catchy song, and the cheesy backing singers make up for a lot. As does Carola’s solidarity in leaving behind her wind machine for the Swedish national final. Thank you, Carola. You might just have saved this song like you do every year.

Azerbaijan: Safura – Drip Drop

They might have only been taking part for three years, but believe me, Azerbaijan wants to win. If this girl doesn’t make the top five, I fear she might be extradited. Shame about the song. And the dress. I’m not sure even the quasi-shirtless hot backing dancers can save this, though Azerbaijan should have enough friends to put it into the final. A quick question though, Safura’s boyfriend apparently “smells like lipstick again”. Now I’m no expert, but how do you manage that... And so another Eurovision Question is born to entertain our more autistic fans.

Ukraine: Alyosha – Sweet people

It’s always fantastic when national finals have an air of scandal around them and suddenly the second placed song gets to go. Perhaps she can have a chat with Tom Dice about that? Boring Ballad time again I’m afraid. I almost wish they’d bring back the centurions and the old facelifted diva. And they know it’s a lost cause, turning on the wind machine in the middle of the song already, instead of waiting for the climax that never comes.

The Netherlands: Sieneke – Ik ben verliefd (Sha-la-lie)

Thank you, The Netherlands, for sending a song that for once is more ridiculous than ours. Thank you, Father Abraham (he of the Smurf Song) for composing this sorry excuse of an entry. Thank you, Sieneke, it’s not your fault, but still... just thank you. Be glad most of you don’t understand the ridiculousness of these lyrics. Seriously people, this is easily, hands down, the worst song in this contest. And for once, it’s not ours! Thank you!

Romania: Paula Seling & Ovi – Playing with fire

Oh, a double piano duet. Rufus Wainwright would be so jealous. Paula (I’m pretty sure it’s Paula) overdid it at the plastic surgeon’s and it’s pretty hilarious how she’s trying to seduce him (she does this weird thing with her eyes when she goes for the “ooh ooh”, and they both forget they’re meant to be playing the piano half of the time. That hilarity is about the only redeeming factor in this song. Boring.

Slovenia: Anzambel Roka Zlindere & Kalamari – Narodno zabavni rock

Again with the catchy group names. You can’t just call yourself “Kalamari and friends” or something, no? No, you want to make it hard on us poor bloggers to type your name. Not very friendly, Slovenia! And seriously Slovenia, make up your damned mind! Don’t know which song to send? Let’s just send five different song styles and mash them all up (Graham Norton would find a brilliant pun for this, but I’m no Graham, so alas...). If you thought the outfits were bad, wait till they start the music. And not a sequin in sight! The Netherlands might have some competition after all.

Ireland: Niamh Kavanagh – It’s for you

So sending rockchicks don’t work, a lesbian brother/sister duo doesn’t work... what to do, what to do? Let’s either send a vicar with a guitar, “I can’t believe it’s not Ronan Keating”, Johny Logan or... Niamh Kavanagh. I’m pretty sure that’s what the Irish thought, and who could blame them? My wife keeps distracting me by singing “The Rose” and every other love ballad over this, but I think we can all agree, this should be mainstream and boring enough to make it Chiara-wise to a good spot in the final. But meh. It’s not my type of Eurovision.

Bulgaria: Miro – Angel si ti

Right. Well, what can we say about this one? It’s polished, it’s cleancut, Miro looks like he’s been taking lessons from Sakis (be sure to expose that bellybutton on the night, sweetie), but there’s just nothing more... the video features a lot of people following Miro and turning into angels at the end. Oops, just spoiled the ending, I’m sorry. I hope Azerbaijan left their 2008 angel costumes behind, it’ll save Bulgaria some money.

Cyprus: John Lilygreen & the Islanders – Life looks better in spring

Oh, Tom Dice is back. But he’s prettier and he might be winning something this time. This bores me to tears though, I’m sorry... It’s not even got a manic violinist, it’s the least they could have done!

Croatia: Feminnem – Lako Je Sve

I’ve been getting on everyone’s case to get an easy group name, and the one country who listens, sends a girl band called “Feminnem”. Argh... Seriously?! Yeah, see, whenever I hear these girls, I think of their previous Eurovision attempt and let’s be fair, that’s hardly a good reference. This is something else entirely though: finally it’s the return of the Bombastic Balkan Ballad, only it needs a bit more Russian navy atmosphere to fully satisfy my inner Drama Queen. Let’s hope these girls can carry a tune live (their previous entry doesn’t give us much hope in this regard) and that they lose the slutty act they’re sporting in the video. In that case, they can call me anytime (get it? Get it? I’m so hilarious I know...).

Georgia: Sofia Nizharadze- Shine

Well, there’s not much I can say about this one. It’s the traditional Eurovision ballad. All it needs is Andrew Lloyd Webber at the piano and the crowd will go wild. If the guys from Belarus turn into butterflies at the end of their song, she’ll have to do one better and solve the world’s electricity bill by bursting into light... only then the Serbs will be pissed off for stealing their Shiny lead singer’s thunder. But don’t worry Georgia, I’m pretty sure there’s an audience of fanboys out there for this.

Turkey: MaNga – We could be the same

Obviously Turkey is a no-brainer for the final, for the top ten even. But this time –in my humble opinion- I really won’t begrudge them for it. I love this song. My wife’s grumbling something about “typically Turkey, it’s either soft rock or a slutty bellydancing girl”, and sure, that’s true, but at least they have some kind of variation going. Other countries *cough* Malta *cough* think they can get away with sending the same ballad year after year while Turkey’s not broken Sertab out of retirement yet.

Eurovision 2010: First semi final

It took me a while to get into this year’s contest. There are quite a few possible reasons for this: Belgium selected Tom Dice (urgh), it sounded as if everyone else also selected a Boring Ballad, I’m nearly 8 months pregnant and the only thing the Penguin (our 8-month-old nearly-there baby) reacts to is Depeche Mode or the Wife’s (oh yes, I’m also married these days) depressing goth-light.
Looks like Penguin will be a rockchick/straight boy... Where did we go wrong already?

But who knows. Penguin might decide to pop out during Eurovision! Eager to get with the excitement and to know first-hand who won. I hope (s)he doesn’t (it'll be hard to follow the contest when in labour...) but if (s)he does it’ll make for years of embarrassing stories. Specifically when (s)he’s a teenager. Ha!
But on with the show... the first semi final!

Moldova : Sunstroke project & Olia Tira – Run away

The name is enough to make anyone cringe “Sunstroke Project”... good lord. And indeed this is a HipsterKid production, complete with torchlight-violins, cleavages and cool hats. Extra points for using the wind machine in their videoclip (can you imagine what they’ll do on stage?) and since I have a weak spot for Eurotrash dance, I’ll forgive them for not having a clue what they’re singing. Moldovenglish for the win!

Russia: Peter Nalitch – Lost and forgotten

It’s the return of the flannel shirts. If these men didn’t have beards I’d have thought Marija Serifovic had made a comeback. The B-side on a folk single sung by a band who didn’t even bother to dress up for The Event Of the Year. It’s Russia, so it’s a guaranteed top five.

Estonia: Malcolm Lincoln – Siren

Ooh, but this is arty. Arty with a capital A even. It might be the A-side to Russia’s song, I might even like this one, shame it keeps going on and on and on (and on... and on...)

Slovakia: Kristina – Horehronie

Long live eastern Europe and their “everything but the kitchen sink” prop and costume-filled performances! This is why I tune in every year: girls dressed like elves, backing singers in bin bags and puzzling dance routines. Let’s hope they thought of even more props for the show!

Finland: Kuunkuiskaajat – Työlki ellää

What. The. Hell?
This year is not only Ballad Eurovision, it’s also Folky Eurovision. Forget about shoes, get out your violins and your white flowy dresses and let’s hop and skip about, clapping our hands. Tsk, when the Belgians send a folky circustent song in an imaginary language everyone makes fun of us, but who’s to say this is an actual language? Eh? Unfair.

Latvia: Aisha – What for? (only Mr God knows why)

I’m sorry, “Mister God”? “Mister God”?? The title alone makes me hate this song, and the rest of it is not much better: a pouty, sulky blonde with big eyes staring solemnly in the camera. Argh. Let me just puke now and get it over with. “What for do people live until they die?” Dear (mister) god, if you existed, you wouldn’t allow this kind of crap to be a Eurovision entry. Since it *is* a Eurovision entry, any sane human being can only conclude that you don’t exist. Shouldn’t that be cause for disqualification?

Serbia: Milan Stankovic – Ovo je Balkan

A Serbian song with the word “Balkan” in the title, if that isn’t a shoe-in for the finale, I don’t know what is. But they sure as hell try to sabotage themselves with this horrid, horrid song. This boy is so shiny they’ll be turning down the lights when he comes on so as not to blind anyone. Chanting “Balkan” in the middle, hip-hop dancing old ladies and a Colgate smile so bright the audience will be getting out their sunglasses. Scary.

Bosnia & Herzegovina: Vukasin Brajic - Lightning and thunder

What’s going on with my favourite Balkan countries? They’ve used up all their talent in previous years? They couldn’t have sent Deen again? Urgh. Boring epic rock ballad.

Poland: Marcin Mrozinski – Legenda

Ooh, a very haunting song we have here from Poland. With the right setting, this could do very very well. Or I might just be delusional because of all the hormones. Nevertheless, I think I like it.

Belgium: Tom Dice – Me and My guitar

The least said about this song, the better. Tom Dice has the charisma of a potted plant and the correct title would be “My guitar and I”. Only we would send someone whose biggest accomplishment is coming second in a “talent show” no-one watched. But hey, who knows. If it does anything at all, we’ll be pretty thrilled.

Albania: Juliana Pasha – It’s all about you

Oh. Albania, one of my favourite countries. Year after year they bring the crazy performances (ballerinas! Coloured mimes!) or bad Albanenglish lyrics. What’s not to love? This is a very simple up-tempo discobeat song, right up my alley, obviously. The English sounds pretty good, which is a tad disappointing, but this girl is so posh that instead of a hammock, she spans a sofa between two trees in the woods. Apparently. I hope they bring the sofa to Eurovision. And the trees!

Malta: Thea Garrett- My dream

What? Chiara was busy this year? And can you imagine how bad this is if I’m starting to think it’s a bad thing she’s not here? Come back, Chiara! All is forgiven! I was just typing “if there’s any justice in the world, this piece of horror will sink to the bottom of the pile”, but then on comes the wind machine and the man with the gigantic bird’s wings (and beak, for some reason). Yes! Bring it on, Malta! For this reason alone I’m not making this a toilet break. You won’t get any points from me though, you’ll need a whole Billy Elliot-inspired ballet for that.

Greece: George Alkaeos & Friends – Opa

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Greece certainly knows how to cater to the Eurovision audience. Sakis Rouvas is busy this year? Ok, we’ll send a bunch of men in leather vests for an energetic dance routine, with a pretty crappy song, but who cares... Men! Black leather! I hope this makes it to the final. What can I say, I’m shallow that way. And I want to give my friends something to look forward to after having to sit through Shiny BalkanBoy’s teeth.

Portugal: Filipa Azevedo – Ha Dias Assim

Girl sings haunting ballad. Walks up to piano. Walks away again. Nearly trips over her high heels. Girl blows out candle. Girl walks back up to piano. Shouting. Keychange. That’s pretty much it. It’s probably Quality with a capital Q, but I can’t wait for leathermen to make an appearance and do the sirtaki.

FYR Macedonia: Gjoko Taneski ft Billy Zver & Pejcin: Jas Ja Imam Silata

Seriously Macedonia (oh, I’m sorry, FYR Macedonia, before hordes of angry Greeks start pounding on my door), you couldn’t have thought of a catchier group name? Do you really have to mention everyone who had something to do with the song? Apparently so. Lookie here, men with guitars and drums. And an ill-advised rap in the middle of the song! It’s so 2004! AND a guitar solo! It’s the nineties! Here’s a riddle for you, just how many guitars fit on a Eurovision stage? You’ll soon find out.

Belarus: 3 + 2 – Butterflies

I think this is English... and it’s nice to see young people dress up in suits and dresses for the occasion. The most cheesy Disney powerballad possible, complete with solemn handmovements and solemn stares in the camera. All they need now is some sign language. So bad it will easily make the final. For us it’ll only be justified if they burst into butterflies on stage, like they do in the video. Now that would be cool. The rest of it: urgh.

Iceland: Hera Björk – Je ne sais quoi

You’d think Iceland would have better things to spend money on than Eurovision, but then you would think wrong! Because Eurovision is The Most Important Thing in the world. And after bankruptcy (well, hello there Greece) and unpronounceable volcano-eruptions, the Icelanders want to give something back to Europe with this song. With a French line. And Classic Eurovision Keychange. That’s how good they are. They even bring out the disco beats. Go Iceland. Throw in a couple of scantily dressed gay boys with an energetic dance routine, and we’ll see about a vote.