What the fuck?
Seriously?
SAN FUCKING MARINO???
It's the worst song she's ever brought, and that's saying a lot. Bunch of sentimental queens voting for the Loveboat...
Ahem.
Sorry.
I cry bitter tears.
No matter your feelings on a song, on how bad or over the top or sentimental of shmalzy it is, you just want to see your country in the final. It's just so much more fun that way.
Alas. It was not to be. I'll get over it. Somehow.
We're never sending a Walloon to Eurovision again. They're barred from now on!
So... who did we say goodbye to tonight?
-US, Belgium!!!! Poor Axel Hirsoux, he must have been crying his eyes out. I really feel for the guy. No worries, I don't blame you. I just blame Europe and their lack of respect for THEIR MOTHERS. And for the proper Bombastic Ballad that makes Eurovision Great. Shame on you, Europe. Shame on you!
- The stoned Latvians who forgot to comb their hair. Brainstorm 2.0. Or as the Wife said "well, as long as they're happy, just let them be..."
- The Whitest Of Them All: Estonia, with her backing singers so far away on the edge of the stage I hope they don't suffer from acrophobia.
- Albania who sent Shakira with a song that went nowhere slowly, including a guitarist wearing a turtleneck. A turtleneck??? Who wears turtlenecks at Eurovision? (Capital Rule: "No Guitars At Eurovision" can now be said to include "No Turtlenecks At Eurovision")
- Moldova with a cross between Game of Thrones, a prom dress gone bad and a hairdo-change. Yes. A hairdo-change. A bad one.
- and Portugal who sang off key but what a catchy silly stupid thing that was. Flags! Wind machine! Football Chants! "If it worked for France in 2010...." No, France was good honey, that's the difference.
And that's it.
All the others are going through, including the song about domestic abuse from Hungary (seriously? It's making me uncomfortable just listening to it in a Eurovision setting and I work in childcare!), those twins who got booed for their country's politics, that boring song about starting a fire, the boring (yet good) Dutch, the guy in the hamster wheel ("Free me! Free me!"), San Fucking Marino (I know they've been passed over in the past, but this year they deserved to be!), Zeljko... oh... no that wasn't Zeljko... hm... looked like him, the Armenian dubstep explosion, fabulous Iceland, and "THIS is how it's done, peasants, watch and learn" Sweden.
Which means we must have really really really sucked....
I might need a few days to recover. Thankfully there's another semi the day after tomorrow.
If Switzerland don't make it then, I might just set fire to something....
On a related note: Denmark, you are fantastic.
All the inclusive GLBTQ tolerance, the filming of the rainbow flag after Russia's performance, the pisstake on the Perfect City... LOVE IT.
No comments:
Post a Comment