Norway and Poland

Norway sends Maria with “Hold on, be strong”. A ballad, or what else did you expect with a title like that? Only it’s not your typical Eurovision ballad, it sounds suspiciously like a piece of actual music sung by an actual singer. At Eurovision?! The horror! I think this would actually be good enough to play on any given radiostation. Well, in Norway at least. The prize for most philosophical lyrics so far goes to the fantastic quote “if it ain’t right, it’s wrong”. Well, yes. Thank you.
Which brings me to the realisation that unless I’m very much mistaken, I’ve not yet heard a single “Fire/Desire” rhyme in the contest so far. Fire/Desire rhymes are essential to Eurovision, just think about 2005’s winner Helena Paparizou (“you’re my fire and desire”), or Konstantinos Christoforou (Cyprus 2005) “Feel around me the desire, search my body, reach the fire” (incidentally both Konstantinos and Helena provide us with some nice eyecandy for those who like men) and countless others. But this year? Not a single one so far… weird. Practically a case for Torchwood I’d say.


Then we're on to Poland, who are sending Isis Gee with the song For Life and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. Was everything else even worse? How is that possible? “For Life” is one of those sleep-inducing ballads where you’re waiting for something to happen… “surely at one point the song is going to explode, she’ll start shouting, the tone of the song will change and…” no. Nothing. Just Drag Barbie (I know the youtube clip is quite grainy, but check out this photo, she looks like a blonde Dana International… only far less pretty) doing the Whitney Houston-patented “Dramatically Moving The Microphone Away From My Mouth When I Reach A High Note” amidst the clouds, with her boring fake-violinists and fake-pianist. The promo video is even more annoying. Moving on.